Even if we broke him, we wouldn’t be too sad
Translator: Mr Voltaire
A little river of nose blood was running down from the courtyard of the Village Chief’s residence.
The sight of it paralysed Hai Yun Fan in awe, and he said to Wang Lu, “… Brother Wang, would you be willing to explain to me what just happened?”
Working backwards from the end result, Hai Yun Fan thought of about ten or so possibilities, but the shock of what just happened caused him to be unable to work out which possibility it was.
As Wang Lu went around looking for a mop, and threw the three pieces of “rubbish” on the ground out, he replied, “What just happened? Wasn’t it obvious? The hidden expert living in the Garden of Peaches came out and foiled the plans of an evil group, protecting the peaceful lives of the villagers of the Garden of Peaches.”
“The hidden expert? Do you know what person?”
“He’s probably called Lei Feng… Jokes. To be honest, I don’t know him, nor is there a need for me to know him.” [TLN: Lei Feng was a ‘heroic soldier’ of the Communist army].
Hai Yun Fan was silent for a few moments and asked, “Because you knew this would be the result?”
“Just a few hours prior, the Village Chief said that there haven’t been any physical altercations in this village, so I guessed that this is a non-PVP zone!”
“Non-PVP Zone?” Hai Yun Fan was obviously confused by this term, and frowned.
He guessed that a “non-PVP zone” was where people could not fight. Normally, those third or fourth-rated sects in the Cloud Mountain Empire would have countless bloody battles during their Celestial Gatherings in order to determine which potential disciples had the most strength and talent.
As such, the trials in this Celestial Gathering held by the Spirit Blade Sect were utterly incomprehensible to outsiders. If it was not for the Spirit Blade Sect being one of the five great sects, Hai Yun Fan would even be suspicious of if they were truly looking for disciples, or if they were just playing around.
“Could it be that the Spirit Blade Sect was as righteous and kind as the rumours had said?”
“Righteous and kind? Little Hai, look at all this blood I’ve been cleaning up. You call this righteous and kind?”
Seeing the three unconscious people lying in a pool of their nose blood on the ground, Hai Yun Fan fell silent.
Wang Lu continued explaining, “The rules in the Spirit Blade Sect are very simple: All retards shall die.”
“Ugh, where… am I?”
Feeling a cold wave on his forehead, the Young Lord from the Xie family of the Hearing Rain Pavilion woke up. His head felt like it was going to explode from pain, and his nose felt like it was broken. He still felt dizzy, and his vision was blurry. He thought he could see a fatty sitting in front of him, splashing cold water on him.
“Who are you?”
“Ah? Me? I’m Wen Bao, the son of the Prime Minister of the Azure Wave Kingdom, Wen Zhong.”
Although the speaker’s voice sounded a bit scared, it contained a hint of pride in his family background.
Xie Qian Long felt absurd: The hell is this fat pig so proud about? Who does he think he is, coming from such a third-rate country. Doesn’t he know that even the second prince of the Cloud Mountain Empire treats us as his superiors? And yet, he’s so proud of his background!? The more he thought, the angrier he became, and adding on the humiliation he had just suffered from Wang Lu, he reached into his inner pocket to the magical treasure he had received from his family.
As for Wen Bao, he was completely unaware of the impending danger. He splashed water on Xie Qian Long’s two companions as he cheerfully spoke.
“Just then, I walked out of that smoky place and saw you three lying unconscious next to the river. Is the next trial really hard? How about all four of us work together, maybe that’ll make the trial a bit easier for us all. I thought that if I was with a group of people in that smoky place, maybe we’d have walked out a bit faster.”
Wen Bao evidently had not realised the true purpose of the Cloud Wave Map, and thought he was very smart. However, his behaviour caused Xie Qian Long to despise him more and more.
As he was speaking, Xie Qian Long’s two companions also woke up.
“Ah, you’re all awake now?”
Wen Bao was overjoyed. If he could work together with these three people, it would be much easier for him to pass the next trial… back then, he had hot-headedly rejected the offer from the Serenity Peak, and had chosen to continue on the Immortal Path. However, he had regretted this decision many times in Cloud Wave Map, and could only walk forwards.
However, his joy soon disappeared. The way the three people looked at him was not pleasant at all. Although there all looked a bit dizzy and half-unconscious, their malicious expressions were still quite evident.
“What’s… wrong with you guys? You don’t want to work together? Then, I’ll be leaving now.”
Although he wasn’t very bright, Wen Bao felt that there was something wrong here, and decided to leave.
“You want to leave? You think it’ll be that easy?”
Xie Qian Long slowly stood up, his Frozen Seal Downpour Talisman held between two of his fingers, preparing to take out his anger on Wen Bao. His two companions were the same, and got into position as well.
Previously, the Serenity Peak disciples had said that life or death on the Immortal Path was already determined by your destiny. If a small fry angered someone powerful and died as a result, it’d be their own fault. Moreover, fighting with and killing one’s competitors was something very common in the Xiuxian world, even for the righteous sects of the Ten Thousand Immortal Alliance. Even if the Young Lords Xie, Li and Yun all died, no one would have been outraged or filed a report- so what was the difference between killing the son of the Prime Minister of a small country and stepping on an ant?
The activation of the three magic treasures caused Wen Bao to feel the presence of death coming closer and closer. This Prime Minister’s son didn’t have the wisdom, slyness or calmness of Wang Lu, and began to scream in fear, “Save me, save me, save me!!”
Hearing Wen Bao’s panicked voice, Xie Qian Long began to feel a bit better. If there was no resistance from the prey, then it simply would not feel as good.
“Call all you want, there’s no one here to save you!”
Xie Qian Long coldly smiled as he began to grip the talisman tighter in his hand. At this moment, a black shadow descended from the sky.
“Adadadadadadaadadada!” [TLN: sound of being repeatedly hit].
The Wen Bao who had survived felt his back… as well as his pants, were completely soaked.
The black shadow had disappeared just as quickly as it had come, and Wen Bao did not even have a chance to say thank you. Looking at the three unconscious Young Lords, Wen Bao still felt quite frightened.
He had just been moments away from death. Those three people had nothing against him, and yet were just about to kill him. He simply could not understand what sort of dreadful thing he had done to deserve this. Was it because he was too ugly? Was that why he had been bullied by the proprietress of the Ru Family, stepped on by the crowds of Young Masters, looked down on by the two Serenity Peak disciples?
Or was this the real side to the Immortal Path? Killing, robbing… the reason why he had come to the Spirit Blade Mountain was so that if he became an Immortal, he would be able to help his father. However, no one had expressed their hopes in him, and he was only beginning to realise why.
As the son of a Prime Minister, not only did he lack the skills in politics, but also in interpersonal skills. The only thing he had was a sentence a passing by sage had said to him when he was young: “This boy has affinity with becoming an Immortal; he should become one of us.”
However, it was a pity that the old sage had quickly disappeared, and Wen Bao had grown up as a disappointment to his father…
As he was still lost in his thoughts, the sounds of footsteps behind him suddenly caused Wen Bao to start shaking again, and his legs, which had just recovered enough energy, began to feel week. Having just received his ‘baptism’ from the Young Lord Xie, he felt extremely nervous and scared. Let alone another few Young Lords, but if even a wild pig appeared, he would be finished.
“Ah, who’s this heavenly general sitting here?” [TLN: Wang Lu makes a bit of a joke here- the original Chinese referred to a specific Heavenly General who was punished for flirting with a Heavenly Princess by sending him down to earth in the form of a man-pig].
The voice that sounded in his ears contained three parts surprise and seven parts sarcasm, and did not sound courteous at all. However, it gave Wen Bao a sense of peace and security.
Wen Bao let out a breath, and the voice sounded out again.
“Why is this guy here? I thought he was eliminated on the Golden Bridge?”
“Ah, there’s much you don’t know Brother Wang. “Affinity” is quite an interesting thing. Many intelligent and wise people have no affinity at all with Immortality, but yet there are many useless and stupid people who have good and kind character, as well as talent, who do. It seems that Wen Bao is the latter.”
“Hmm, that sounds about right. Those three from before were all pea brains, and yet were descendants of some Xiuxian family or something.”
“Haha, they’re only from third or fourth-rate families, so they’re not all that great.”
Two people walked closer from the distance, talking and laughing together. They looked at Wen Bao, and he looked back at them. Although he had a pretty bad memory, he still recognised the two people.
One of them was the second prince of the Cloud Mountain Empire, and the other was the only person who had been able to live in a premium room, that countryside boy… all in all, they were not people to be messed with.
Ignoring how dry his throat was, Wen Bao opened his mouth. “Excuse me…”
Wang Lu and Hai Yun Fan completely ignored him, and continued to talk amongst themselves.
“Little Hai, this guy’s the seventh person to enter the Garden of Peaches. I guess his results are alright.”
Hai Yun Fan thought for a while, then replied, “Seventh isn’t that great, but then considering that you and your pageboy took two spots, it doesn’t matter that much. However, if we look at his time, it only took him twenty or so hours, which is not bad at all. In contrast to his not-so-bright appearance, it seems that he has some pretty good character and emotional stability.”
“Ahh, Little Hai, you’re too naïve. Just because someone is able to exit the Cloud Wave Map in a good time doesn’t mean they have good character or emotional stability. I’m guessing this guy broke down after he got lost, and just kept running and running until he couldn’t run anymore.”
“What do you mean ‘no way’? Don’t you know that proverb along the lines of ‘even a pig will charge forwards and attack when it’s backed into a corner’? Charging forwards should be his instinct.”
Wang Lu’s deduction was simply him spouting bullshit, but from Wen Bao’s expression, Hai Yun Fan guessed that Wang Lu really did hit the mark.
So it turned out that this sort of ridiculous method really did exist. However, come to think of it, this was truly the embodiment of “affinity”. There were many people who did not have much talent, nor did they have very good character or emotional stability, and even their intelligence was below average, and yet they had become Immortals.
In that case… could it be that this Wen Bao in front of them could become a peerless Immortal expert one day?!
As he thought, he heard Wang Lu say, “Little Hai, weren’t you always curious about the tactics for this Garden of Peaches? We’ve got a good guinea pig now.”
“… You’re talking about Wen Bao?”
“Of course, this guy’s got no intelligence and no guts…I couldn’t have asked for a better test subject.”
“Eh? Why’s that?”
“Because even if we broke him, we wouldn’t be too sad, ahahaha.”